i came back from berlin, barely. obviously i have morphed into a creature that suits berlin really well and everyone seems to agree but i don’t think people would say that if it wasn’t for the black hair dye and the piercings. i will get into the berlin in a second but i want to consider this first.
in portugal there’s this like initiation rite at universities when you’re a freshman that you have to revert back to your completely natural self as in take out all your piercings, dye your hair your natural colour, cover up your tattoos, no makeup, no adornments of any kind like just you how you were born. thank you MJ for telling me this because i have thought a lot about how nobody since i was 14 has seen me like that. and how different i look when it’s like… just me. i have customised myself so much into a version of myself that is super left field from what God intended and like i really like what i look like but alas, very interesting. my natural tendency to tan, my blonde beautiful hair, erased to look like someone who belongs to berlin.
berghain
the interesting part i suppose is how did we get in?
- we weren’t wearing all black, antonio was in all grey with a leather jacket, i had a red o-ring choker/collar on.
- the guy at the door spoke to me very dismissively, i spoke to him in the exact same bitchy tone.
- that was it.
the music was really good, the drinks were really cheap, you can smoke inside. nobody was staring at me or tried to touch me. everyone was kinda old. i went upstairs to the mezzanine to sit and right next to the stairs there was a sex swing and this girl was laying down pussy to the sky and this guy is fucking her like while standing up pants around his ankles ass to the wind…
i’m sat there just smoking my cigarette like don’t make eye contact don’t make eye contact. but it was so intriguing to me i couldn’t keep my eyes off it like the car wreck thing. apart from that i don’t remember much, it’s not like i drank much.
antonio and i were searching for euros in our pockets to piece together enough for eight (8) jager shots (24€) which we shared. now, we didn’t have jagerbombs, we chased all of them with a single sugar free red bull.
kitkat
you couldn’t pay me to go back to that godforsaken place, but the infrastructure was gorgeous, the music was between okay and good. i loved the concept of the pool, it should be designated a no sex zone. i hated everything else.
everything else i have to say
I think the whole berlin thing is very pretentious, it’s not queer to make people ‘look’ queer to get in somewhere. it’s an imitable look. there isn’t a je-ne-sais-quoi that the bargain bouncers can secretly see in you. unfortunately. the ‘berlin look’ is a very tired and moderate graphic designer who tries really hard to be seen at protests look. it’s edgy, not emo, it’s hardly cool. everyone wants to be cool in berlin while all it takes is to just be cool.
in short i guess berlin is a very special place to me, sure it’s not the most beautiful aesthetically, but it’s all nostalgic, nollendorfplatz is such a special place to me. i have been coming back to this city since my first trip ever when i was 3 in which we stayed at my parents’ friend’s airbnb.
eat at amrit, but most importantly, drink the cocktails. i waited all my life to drink at amrit. it was worth it.
really sad about the berio closing, i think i’ll be sad forever.
lucia in the sun 